Friday's Funnies

This has made the rounds before, but here is a modified version. Have a great weekend!


Jesus took his disciples up to the mountain; and gathering them around him, he taught them, saying:
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are the meek.
Blessed are they that mourn.
Blessed are the merciful.
Blessed are the pure in heart.
Blessed are the peacemakers.
Be glad and rejoice, for great is your reward in heaven.

Then Simon Peter said, "Are we supposed to know this?
And Andrew said, "Do we have to write this down?"
And James said, "Will we have a test on this?"
And Philip said, "I don't have any paper!"
And Bartholomew said, "Do we have to turn this in?"
And John said, "The other disciples didn't have to learn this!"
And Matthew said, "May I go to the bathroom?"
Then one of the Pharisees who was present asked to see Jesus' lesson plan and inquired of Jesus, "Is this compliant with Title I federal regulations? Does it align with the Indiana state standards and the NCLB?

And Jesus wept.